A SPECIAL DAY

Hello Kast Family,
Today has been a bittersweet day for us. Today we remember what was taking place two years ago. A very special day. Kerrie received her Stem Cell Transplant. How excited we all were. Teena was there, and Kerrie’s dad and her brother, all in our Kast shirts, and we all went from one place to another. From Ker who was waiting, to Jenn who was on a machine, all her blood being filtered and salvaged. And the week building up to it. Ker on chemo and then the wait while we watched her counts go down (as they were supposed to do) to 0. Every morning for days giving Jenn the injections that would build up her cells. What anticipation. And then everything was a GO!

I ran Jenn thru the hospital (and it wasn’t easy, she was in a wheelchair) so she could be with Kerrie for the actual transplant. We made it and it went so fast. We sang Happy Birthday……..she now had two birthdays on the 17th, just different months. And through it all she laid there, she felt so sick. How were we to know that it wasn’t just the chemo that was making her feel that way.

We look back now and we see it differently. The headaches, the feeling so lousy………Oh, Kerrie, if we had known. But better we didn’t. For a little while we were all happy and had such hope. And now we wait to remember the day a week from now when it all ended. When we found out what was wrong and Ker changed and began the hardest part of her journey.

Yesterday was Bosses Day and in the morning the staff brought me a beautiful bouquet of flowers. Fall flowers and ……. sunflowers. They didn’t know how special they are to me, but I told them. I felt that Kerrie was with me all day at work. Last night I went to my support group meeting. I almost didn’t go, but something made me. As i walked in one of the leaders motioned me over to her and she gave me something. A little refrigerator magnet. She’d had them made up for herself and some to share. It says ‘I have a Daughter in Heaven. Light a candle for the children that have died……so their light may always shine’. And then she said that she had found something at home that she had kept and she didn’t know why. When it fell out of the closet she looked at it and said “Kerrie!”. She gave it to me, a small candle with a ribbon around it and two little sunflowers. Coincidence, maybe…….but I think it was Kerrie, saying Hi……..saying……”remember me, but don’t be so sad. I am happy now, and beautiful and in a wonderful place, and I am waiting for all of you”.

So Kerrie, until we meet again, we love you and miss you and wait for your visits. Watch over us and guide us and save us a special place near you in heaven. We know it will be full of sunflowers and calla lillies and all kinds of beautiful and magical things. You were a dreamer and now your dreams are coming true. I hear you singing and laughing and looking at us wondering why we get so sad. It’s just because the world is a lot lonelier without you.

Happy Birthday Kerrie. It’s not the future we hoped for you, but we are glad you are well again.
Lot of Love and Kisses
Mom and Dad, and Ron and Jenn