7 years.. but it seems like yesterday. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you, miss you, love you. You’ve been gone from us 7 years now, my Ker-Bear, but the hurt still feels like it was yesterday. It’s raining today, at least here in Virginia, so it seems fitting ( and will help to hide my tears). I wish I could be with Mom today, and Ron too, as I know they will come to the cemetery to see you. Dad and I will be there in spirit.. as we all are everyday. Kerrie, I love you so much.. and wait for the day we can…

I know it was you dear sister… who else could it have been? Tonight, I was sitting on my front steps, talking to Mom about one of the saddest things taking place in my life. I look down the street and I see this cat walking down the side walk. It’s about five houses away, and looking very determined.. As I am talking to mom, I’m watching the cat.. closer.. closer.. walking even closer.. wondering when it will get scared of me moving around and run off. But it doesn’t. The darn thing walks right up to my steps… climbs each one, looking very determined and then sits and looks…

Happy Birthday Kerrie… I woke this morning to the Happy Birthday song ringing in my head… before I even was awake enough to remember the date. You are on our minds today, as you are every day… but today is harder than most. Mom couldn’t make it to the cemetery, because of the bad weather and all the snow, but I told her you were probably out skiing somewhere anyway. Ker-Bear, we may not come here everyday anymore… and sometimes it seems like it’s just Mom and me here… but you are thought of every day, you are loved every day, you are missed every day. No matter how much…

Missing you today… like every other day. But today I am trying to be thankful for the time I had with you. Today, when I miss you, I will try to think of the happy times instead of being sad that you are not here to fight over the mash potatoes with me. Not much to say, but you have been on my mind so much lately that I just had to come and write to you today. I know you would rather have ham, but today I win… and we’ll have Turkey 🙂 I love you my Ker-Bear and miss you and hope you get lots of mash potatoes…

Kerrie you are on my mind today… as you always are. Just came home from California. Fuat and I took a similiar trip to the one you and I took years ago… I could feel you there in the car with me. Funny, it turns out we weren’t lost that time thinking we were looking for the Pacific Coast Highway. We were in the right place, we just didn’t know it. I remember being so mad and you getting so upset and telling me to calm down 🙂 On this drive, we were on the 101 and went around a bend and there was this mountain in front of us..…

Oh my sweet Ker-Bear. Another July 27th has come and gone… and yes, I know, I am late getting this post on here. I hate July most of all.. The day July 1st hits I start thinking about the 27th…dreading the day it comes. I miss you every day, but most of all this day. I think about every minute of that day.. actually every minute of the day before through THAT day. Wishing I had said more to you while you were still “with us” enough to be able to hear or understand me.. wishing I had done a lot of things differently.. wishing… always wishing… If I could…

Sometimes you just know she is there… Driving home from Virginia Beach, ABBA CD blasting.. It’s a beautiful spring day.. perfect for driving and singing ABBA songs. Chiquaitita comes on… and I start singing the harmony. Kerrie would always sing the melody of any song and I would sing harmony as her back up 🙂 Start singing the second line of the song and the hair on my arms stands up, goosebumps everywhere and that tinglining feeling on the back of my neck. I can feel her there. She’s sitting in the seat next to me. The feeling is so strong I have no doubts. I reach over to the…

As I was sitting here, thinking what to write, I heard the Happy Birthday song in my head… and then I heard… “cha cha cha”. Kerrie couldn’t make it through singing happy birthday without adding in that silly “cha cha cha”. Drove me crazy 🙂 Mom went to the cemetary and celebrated Kerrie’s birthday with her and I’ve posted some pictures in this gallery… wish I could have been with her. Instead I stayed here in my warm house, in the south, and watched… the thundersnow! Hate snow almost as much as I hated the “Cha cha cha”, but Kerrie loved that too! The minute it would snow, Kerrie would…

Hello Kast Family! It’s Christmas time again… the sixth Christmas without Kerrie. I think about this almost every day, but then I hear a voice in my head telling me “don’t be silly… I’m here!” I really think she is… I haven’t put up my own Christmas tree, or even been into my Christmas boxes since the year before Kerrie got sick. This year, Fuat and I stayed home… so it was time to get out the decorations. The first time since 2005 those boxes have been opened. In my boxes of decorations I found some boxes of Kerrie’s things I had set aside to decide what to do with later……

Happy Birthday Kerrie! Your “2nd” birthday that is. Today is the anniversary of the bone marrow transplant. I have spent most of the day trying to remember “what we were doing when…”, but since I spent most of the day on drugs I can only remember little bits here an there.. up until the point mom and I made the mad dash accross the hospital to be there for the actual transplant.. They had unhooked me from the machine and put me in a wheelchair, and mom pushed me ( at lighting speed) accross the hospital so we could be with Kerrie while she was given the transfusion of my…