Sunday, September 30th

When Kerrie was a Junior in High School ( and I had been out of high school a few years) we had an exchange student, from Germany, come live with us for a year. Axel was a very special person to us and Kerrie and I always considered him our brother. Kerrie visited him the year after she graduated from High school, I’ve seen him twice in the past two years ( we hadn’t seen each other in 18 years.. but it was like no time had passed between us).. and I took Mom to see him in January of 2006.

A few days after Kerrie passed away, Mom and I received an e-mail from him. The words he said about Kerrie were so beautiful that I’ve held on to that e-mail. I read it every once in a while, when I can bring myself to do it, and thought maybe I would share it with you. Axel truly describes what a beautiful person Kerrie was… I think you will find his e-mail as true and beautiful as I did.

Dear Joan and Jen, Dear Ron, Steve and all of you over there!

what can I say!!! It took me a while to react! My deepest belief always was that this was not going to happen!!! And then! After this destroying news on the web and the mail!…. my first reaction was a shock as you might imagine!

The second reaction is even worse since thoughts come up if I should not only have followed the last months but flown over the ocean!!!

But then I know that my sis had all the people around her she loved most in her life! That gives ma some relief; at leas I try to talk myself into this.

Although I did not have a lot of contact the last years, Kerrie was one of the most important persons in my live!

The memories I have are still as close as they ever have been. And they will ever be!

When I came to the States 23 years ! ago Kerrie was the first person who gave me this instant warm feeling! Without words!

This feeling of being in a place where I would be safe. In this big unknown country! And I know this is only a little example of what her deepest capability was. She was able to give people the feeling not only to be alright or accepted but to be something very special. It wasn’t a question of words or actions. It just was this feeling the sent out!

Joan described it once as something like “the shine” around her (we had a barbecue out in the backyard). And she was right.! Kerrie was one of those special persons in my live who you do not meet too often. But if you meet them you never forget them again.

She had many hard times in those days, later and at the end even more! But she always kept this AURA around her! I´m a hundred percent sure about this!

Even if I could not see it anymore because of those tons of water between us, I am sure that she kept it alive!

It is very hard to put in words what she was for me then and always after! But I´m quite sure she knew!

When I think of her I remember this look in her eyes that told me everything. This look that did not need tons of words to explain. These warm vibes that made words needless.

Maybe this special gift was also something that gave her a hard time in her life. Somebody who would not appreciate this might have been able to hurt her without knowing! And as far as I know she had some rough times!

But somewhere, sometime in summertime ( a song she liked then (Simple Minds)…..somebody will appreciate it! Where ever!

I am so sorry about all this and I feel with you over there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But you know what!… I have one advantage! I had some water between Kerrie and me the last years! And therefore I just pretend she still is somewhere over there! May be just little bit higher on top of some mountain. Maybe some sand dune!….

And then there is something more happening those days: At first I´m getting married next Thursdayand then, well then I´m becoming a father! :-).

And see it this way: some of the love Kerrie gave me will live on inside of me. and therefore inside of this little person showing up in couple of months!!!!!!

Kerrie left and will leave her footsteps in our lives!

Dear Joan and Jen! Dear Ron, Steve and all of you!

I´m on the other side of the world but I feel with you and I´m incredibly sad!!!

I will now sit back and think of Kerrie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My mother who knew Kerrie as well is with you in those moments!

I guess she can imagine even better what it means to loose a daughter!

Joan, she told me to send you all her deepest love from Austria!!!!!!!

I love you!!!

Yours

axel