Sunday, August 12th
I’ve come to the page every day, but have not been able to post. A few days ago I sat in Kerrie’s room, and tried to write, but may hands were shaking and couldn’t see through the tears. Even know I am finding it difficult.. but not writing seems like I am being unfaithful to Kerrie. I miss her terribly.. every day. She sits and smiles at me, from her picture frame, and that often makes it difficult to get work done… but she’s going to stay there, on my table, smiling at me while I work.
I’ve been thinking a lot about her.. and things many people may never have known about her. Some of these were things I didn’t even discover until our last year together…
Her favorite Flowers: White Calalilies.. and Sunflowers ( of course)
Favorite colors: Purple and green
Favorite Musicians: Sarah Brightman and Andrea Bocelli. I tried to get her tickets to Sarah Brightman once, and my mother convinced me not to spend that much money on a birthday gift. Now I wish I had done it. As for Andrea Bocelli, we had decided we would go to see him perform.. in Italy. Maybe someday I will make this trip for her.
Biggest Goal:Â To take a trip to the Galopigous Islands after she finished her nursing degree. This was to be her graduation trip and I had told her I would go with her. Some day I will make this trip for her.
Something she wanted to do again:Â Drive the Pacific Coast Highway in the daylight. We did it in the dark once and swore we would do it again.. but when the sun was out. I’ll be making this trip, for the both of us, in September. I know she’ll be sitting in the car with me.
Kerrie’s amazing singing voice: If you have ever heard her sing, you know what a beautiful voice she had. The people at Cedar Point didn’t call her Kerrie Karaoke for nothing. She would bring down the whole house. If it wasn’t for the age limit on American Idol, I know she would have at least made it as far as Hollywood.. if not into the top 10!
Kerrie and Jenn as Sonny and Cher: When we were little we had a Sonny and Cher album ( I think our Aunt Jeanine or Aunt Mary Jo had given us theirs and that’s how we got it). We used to dance around on our bed and sing “I’ve got you babe” over and over and over. I never let her be Cher… she would beg me to let her be Cher and I always made her be Sonny. Kerrie.. I’m sorry I never let you be Cher.
If I could do it all over again I would let her be Cher every time.
I started writing this 7 hours ago, but work has gotten in the way… I will finish later. In the mean time, Kerrie’s smiling face is still watching me from across the desk.
Jenn
14 Comments
Aunt Louise
Dear Jenn,
Many thanks for the beautiful reflection! You have been very much in my thoughts and prayers these days. IF you do drive the Pacific Coast Highway in September — you are most welcome to come visit me in Ventura. Please let me know. Take care and God bless you!
With love,
Teena
Thanks Jenn!!
Ron
its funny the things you dont get to know about someone till something like this happens. the past is what it is and that cant be changed just thnk god you had the time you did and the memories you have as well.kerrie above watching over all of us and her sprit will never die here either a lil piece of that lives within all of us she came in contact with in her short journey here with us. i think for many we log in daily and dont write or “log in” because its still hard to figure out what to say and still a lil bit of shock as well. that someone a wonderful as kerrie is no longer walking among us. just because we cant reach out and touch her or see her doesnt mean she isnt here .. she is , she is watching, and sitting there beside you when you need her most, and praying from above for us all here. there are not many of these posts i write latlely since kerrie has moved on to above that dont come with tears here either. remember your not alone kast is always here and never hesitate to call on any one of us.the old saing go’s there is strenght in numbers. Ron
Sandy Bliss
Yes Jenn, I think you better take that drive again, she mentioned it to me and yes she did say she too wanted to see it in the sunlight. I wonder if that was the first thing she did, or if she is still busy with the meet and greet at heavens gate?
See ya soon. Love Sandy
Texas Pam
Jenn,
Thank you for your thoughts…Kerrie’s voice was so powerful, I could hear her singing in your house when I was in my garage or mudroom…
Love,Pam
Michelle
It seems like only yesterday that I listened to Kerrie & Shane singing Endless Love at The Village. Brought tears to my eyes back then, and now every time I hear it, it simply isn’t the same. Jenn-I hope your travels will not bring you sadness. Kerrie would be smiling every step of the way, and she’ll be with you in your heart. When you’re driving the PC highway, close your eyes, look up and smile.
Ker & Art Feather
Joan Jenn Ron
Just checking in and letting you know you’re in our daily thoughts.
We too have a picture, from our Mich. trip, of Kerrie smiling back at us.
I told my mom “Aunt Lynn” to take good care of her.
Jenn, let us know about the PCH drive – we’d love to have you visit or meet
up with you. Any chance you Mom will tag along?
Deb Kayga
Hey Jen–thanks for sharing Kerrie with us! I just can’t imagine having to go though what you ALL have gone though! My thought remain with you! Deb Kayga (FBC)
Sandy Maynerich
Yes Kerrie had a beautiful voice I remember being in a play with her in Junior High and having a total blast with her. She did love to sing.
YOu will love the drive on the Pacific Coast Highway Joan I have been there and it’s really beautiful in the day time as well as in the night time.
I’m so glad you & Jen went to visit Kerrie’s gravesite I know she liked it.
Sorry I haven’t written on here as much but I had to have major surgery last Friday and I haven’t felt up to sitting on the computer chair it was very uncomfortable for me.
Kerrie is for sure watching after everyone and smiling over us. I will tell you one thing she was one very popular lady in school and she is still popular. Kerrie is well though about by every one and will always be though about.
You take care of yourselves Joan & Jen and just take it one day at a time like you are doing right now. You should’ve have to rush doing anything like going through Kerrie’s things just take it easy go to work and I know it will be hard but you will be out of the house for a while at least.
Were all thinking about you
Love you!!
Sandy Maynerich
Jason
Jenn,
It’s odd… I think a lot of us have those roads. Yours is PCH, mine is Route 66. They all lead somewhere, and nowhere, but it’s the Journey. I can’t comment on how it all ends up, I’m still getting ready!
LOVE YOU.
J