What Memories

Oh Jenn, what wonderful pictures, and what memories they bring! I can still see you two in your uniforms on the Midway. And riding the train………and your cousin Chris, the engineer…….so many smiles………and they help today.

Yesterday morning, as I walked in to work in the dark, I thought about this same day three years ago, as you and I walked in the dark in to another hospital. We were on our way to the transplant unit where you were going to give your precious stem cells for your sister. How hopeful and excited we were (and you very nervous 🙂

What an exciting day it was. Ker in her room waiting and you at the other end of the hospital watching your blood being filtered thru that machine. Do you remember the mad dash thru the hospital in your wheelchair so we could get you to her room in time to see the transplant? I almost ran people down to make it in time.

And then it was over so fast and we sang Happy Birthday. Another beginning for Kerrie. But, I also remember the way she lay there, almost asleep. I remember wondering why she was so listless, when she should have been feeling a little better. We blamed it on her lack of her immune system. Just like we blamed the bad headache the day she went back to the hospital before the transplant on the spinal tap she had had. Looking back now, I realize we were seeing the signs, it was the clot in her brain. If we had only known………would it have made a difference? Dr. Jana said she wouldn’t have been able to have the transplant. Would they have been able to take care of the clot in time for her to get it? We’ll never know……….at least not in this life.

So feeling very low this morning I clicked on to KAST. And there was my girl, the way I like to remember her…..smiles and fun and friends (a apparently a lot of beer too). And, while I still feel a lot of pain today, I feel comfort too.

Thanks for posting the pictures now………

I love you and I love all the people who are out there thinking of Kerrie.

Joan