A SHORT HELLO

Hello Kast Family, 

It’s been a while since Jenn or I have posted on here. Such a busy season for both of us. We talk often, despite my jokes about never hearing from her.

 This is a difficult time for us. So much was happening two years ago. I still can’t go to my old calendar and look at the days. I relive them enough without specifics. I just know that we knew, although we were in denial and kept hoping, as Kerrie did, that the treatments she was getting would turn things around. How brave she was, to take on all that  she did. She wanted to live, not just for herself but for us as well. I remember when she agreed to a very risky infusion to try and stop her rejection reaction. She lined us up in her room and asked each of us in turn what we would have done. And when we supported her she relaxed and her face showed that she felt she was doing the right thing for all of us.

Next week is the balloon launch with the Compassionate Friends Support Group. It is a very emotional ceremony when we write our messages to our children and launch them to the skies. Last year it was followed by the most beautiful double rainbow. We can’t really expect to get a message from them like that again this year. But wouldn’t it be wonderful. We were all so sure they knew and were with us.

As much as I look forward to this upcoming evening, I also feel reluctance. I know I will cry, and for some reason I feel the need to cry. It’s been awhile since I have let go and I am afraid once I start I won’t stop. But, what better place than among the people who have become my friends and know and share what I feel.

Next Thursday, the 18th, or any time for that matter, if you have a balloon send it up in memory of someone you love. If you don’t have a balloon, just send your loving thoughts. It really helps.

Take care all, will try and post again soon

Love to You

Joan