LIGHT A CANDLE IN LOVE

Hello Kast Family,

Another event, another hurdle, a hurdle because it brings back so many memories, so much pain and so much joy.

Last night, Sunday, was the annual world wide candle lighting ceremony held by the Compassionate Friends, the support group for parents, grandparents and siblings of children who have died. The last few weeks have been preparation for this. Some of you may wonder why it is so anticipated. It’s difficult to describe. The meetings, planning, selecting the music, picking out the readings. And all in preparation for a very emotional evening for the families.

I went to the church early so I could help with the preparation and be a greeter for those who came to remember their children. Ron, Alisa and their children joined me. When we were all seated the program began. The church hall was filled. The music started and then the readings and then it was time to light the candles. As families we walked to the front, lighted our candles and said the name of the child we were remembering. This year TJ had the honor or saying his Aunt Kerrie’s name. When we were done, the table was full. The hall was dark and the candles gave such a beautiful glow. I could see Kerrie’s candle just behind some that were placed in front. I could see her smile and feel her spirit.

Then the slide show began. And the faces and names of our children were there for all of us to see. This year many of the parents have become my friends and we sat and watched and remembered together. I don’t need to tell you that there were many tears. One thing I realized this year is that the children of our group are not the little ones you tend to think of. There are some babies and small guys, but most of us have older teens and adult children. It doesn’t matter how old they are, they are your children and you mourn them just the same.

This ceremony takes place world wide on the same Sunday at 7:00 pm in each time zone every year. There are candles lit round the clock and for 24 hours at the world headquarters in Washington. It’s quite a feeling, knowing that we are sharing this moment with parents and families all over the globe.

After the ceremony was over we met together, there were probably close to 300 people. We shared some refreshments and the tears changed to smiles and even some laughter. I feel so fortunate to have these people. I know their children from the stories they tell about them. I know them from the stories they tell about themselves. They know Kerrie, one mother tells me she thinks of Kerrie every time she sees sunflowers, even at the post office when she saw the sunflower stamps. We all share something that we wish we didn’t share and we all support each other in our grief and our healing.

And now it’s time to prepare for Christmas. Jenn will be home in a few days and I can’t wait to see her. We have many things to do this year. It’s time to look at some of the things we have packed away. It’s time for us to spend some time together as a family. It’s time for us to share the joy and spirit of the season.

Take care all….. My prayer for you is to have a beautiful holiday season with all the joy this time of year is meant to bring. And if you see any sunflowers or butterflies, you know who is saying MERRY CHRISTMAS to you.

Love
Joan