Wednesday August 8
Dear Family and Friends,
It hardly seems possible that it’s only been a week since we said our goodbyes to Kerrie. It seems so long ago somehow, almost like a dream.
I went back to work last night, with much trepidation, but things went well. Everyone was very kind and most people greeted me with a hug or a special smile or just a touch. It really helped as I felt I might have to face a gauntlet of sympathy and didn’t know if I could handle it. And it was very busy, which made the night go fast, I never did start to nod off at the desk like some nights, probably because I never had time to sit at the desk until just before I had to give report.
Little by little things are coming together. There is much to do, but plenty of time to do it. I think I have found someone who can use much of the leftover medication. Also, the rehab department at NOMC is very glad to take the appliances and equipment that Kerrie used to have for their patients. It makes me feel so much better that we can give these things to people we know who will use them and know who they came from.
Jenn is coming home tomorrow and we will begin to attack some of the things that need to be done. I have not opened any of the cards yet, not that I didn’t want to see and read them, I just didn’t want to do it alone, and I think Jenn (and Ron if he is available) need to share that as well. I only wish Ker’s dad was closer so he could be part of that too.
I have tried putting some things away, but can’t seem to do that yet. It’s like putting her away. I know it will come in time, but right know it’s almost like she’s still here and all I have to do is run down to the hospital to see her. It was hard enough when they picked up her bed and wheelchair.
I keep some pictures in my mind of last week, one of the most special is at the gravesite. The workers were finishing up there work and we had all gone to our cars to get out of the sun. I still see Kerrie’s cousin, Mike, standing in the road, straight and tall. He never left until she was put to bed. Mike you are a special person and we all love you so much.
I have to tell you that it does our hearts good to see so many still coming to the website. Ker’s dad called me after he saw Deb Kagya’s comment about looking at it so often just to see her face. I answered that I did the same thing and her dad told me he must go on the site 10 times a day. Please, if you log on,leave a message or a post on the gallery or just say hi, or leave your name. It means so much, not just to us but to everyone who logs on.
Take care everyone,
Love you all
Joan
21 Comments
Ron
i know we have never met but i do the same im constantly logging into the site just to see kerries face. there isnt a day that has gone by that someone hasnt private messaged me and let me know how much this site has been an insperation to them or someone they knw just kerries sheer endurance and attidute through it all and also there sadness of your lose. i hate to say there are still things around from when my grandparents have past that your right its like putting “theme away ” and that i could never do. i have evn pulled out the thank you card from kerrie just to see her hand wrighting on it. i thank god every day for the small am ount of time i was allowed to have kerrie in my like and know we see each other again when its time. dont close those doors to early as much as you think it might help right now even if the neighbors think your nutz go out in the middle of the back yard and just let out a big scream. well im running on here but know you all are never out fo thought or mind either and especialy in these trying times it doesnt get any easier you just learn to cope and live with it. lots of love and many prayers
Ron
Teena
Just popping in to say hi.
I also log on a bunch daily to see that sweet smile.
Sending you all a big hug & I love you all very much.
Deb Kayga
Just thought I would drop you a quick note and say “Hi”. It is crazy at St. Joes! They did 290 deliverys the monthe of July and August is starting out the same way. I have done 2 shifts on orientation and when I left on sunday (8-5) morning at 10 we had hit 50 for August. I’m glad your first night back was busy–sometimes hugs are hard. Love to all! Deb Kayga
Arlene
I check the site daily – it’s become a habit. It’s my job to keep
all the friends here in Golf Manor informed. You and Jenn did such
a great job of keeping us current on events in your lives.
You are all in my thoughts and prayers daily.
Texas Pam
I have to check in everyday, it just makes me feel good.
I love you all…
Shane Garver
Just a quick “Hi” from Kansas City. We still continue to check out the site all of the time too! Hope everyone is doing their best to get through the days without Kerrie. Take care everyone!
Joan W
I continue to check in almost daily also. Now it is to check on you, my friend Joan, to see how you sound and how you are adjusting. I’m glad to hear that you went back to work however I will feel better when I hear that you (and Jenn) have taken some time and are off doing something for your selfs — laying in the sun, a girlie day at spa or something just for you(s).
Love Ya
Teena
I agree Joan W.
You all deserve some time in the sun. You know my door is always open.
Luv you bunches
Jeannine
Like so many others, I start and end my day with my K.A.S.T. visit. I see Kerrie’s picture and she makes me smile. After I talk to her for a minute I go check on how everyone is coping. Steve, Joan, Jenn, Ron… know that I think of you and pray for each of you every day. Love you.
Donna
Hi, This is my first visit back to the web site. Tears run down my face as I read the wonderful thaught and comments of the people that our dear friend Kerrie has brought together from her wonderful experience here on this earth. I’ll be coming back more often. I think of her alot and miss her more. Joan, Jenn and Ron my offer still stands, if you need anything, call me.
Will call you soon, love Donna
Aunt Mary Jo
I knew others must also be coming to visit Kerrie through this site! I am glad you opened the door for others to post, Joan. We love you, Steve, Ron and Jenn! Kerrie has moved on, but will never be forgotten. I am keeping my flower girl over my desk…
My cards for all of you are still in my heart. I have purchased them, written them a thousand times, but I have waited. There is time. Love you!
nicole williams
checking the site almost daily. love you
Sandy Maynerich
I’m glad you are still posting on this site Joan that is a good idea. This way we all know how you are doing. I did go to our class reunion and they had pictures of Kerrie there and pictures of the other 6 classmates that we lost also. Kerrie well talked about and some of our classmates had no ideas that Kerrie passed away so I filled the ones in on Kerrie and they all said that they are really sorry and Kerrie will be well missed. Everyone talked about the old days when we were in school and how well she was the others. It was good to let it out with our classmates. I only stayed for three hours because I found out that I have a bad hernia so Joe & I ended up leaving at 9 but I’m glad that I had the chance to tell several of our classmates about Kerrie.
Joan & Jenn I’m glad that I got to see you at the funeral I wanted to say how sorry I was and that I miss Kerrie but I know she is in a better place with God and of course she is watching over everyone. I have your home address Joan and phone # and I will keep in touch with you that way and on here.
Take care of yourselves and please keep us posted on how everyone is doing.
I have you in my thought & prayers
Please just take it one day at a time and it will get better.
Love you guys
Sandy
Engineer Ken
Joan and Jen,
Kerrie and I work at CP together back in 1992 and 93. That is about the length of time I knew her but, I remember her for being a friend to me when I was there.
I check in daily as well.
God Bless,
Aaron
Joan, Jen and Family,
I also check this site daily. Staying updated has become a daily habit of mine. You need to keep your head up and things will get better. I lost my mom 10 years ago, and the pain does get better. It never goes away, but it does change. You have all been through so much, the tears do heal and make you an even stronger family than you were before. Keep the memories going. Their isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about my mom and what she would have said or done in a situation. You just have to remember who Kerrie was, and how she made you smile.
With lots of love,
Aaron
Cheryl Stpehens
Hi Jenn,
Sending a hello from Pittsburgh. I too, can’t seem to stay away. Even though I never really new Kerrie, just you. And from everything I’ve read, she’s just as great as you are. I’m lucky to have known you, even if it didn’t start off like most other friendships do…you know what I’m getting at….Me, you, Abbey Bolton, the Raptor, Jack Falfas, and a whole lot of throw up…yeah, you remember…ha ha. Anyway, know that I’ve been thinking about you ALOT. And your courage and strength, and just how strong Kerrie was this past year. She is more woman than I’ll ever be. Everything that your family has been through has made me so much more appreciative of my own. And how blessed I am to have so many great people in my life.
Thank you for sharing your ups and downs with us all here at KAST.
Keep your chin up and don’t try to rush through things.
Cheryl Stephens (AKA Cheryl Rugh)
Janet Branch
Like you – it still doesn’t quite seem real. We continue to think of you and pray for you at this time, for healing, for peace knowing Kerrie is at rest, and for strength for what is ahead. Please be sure tthat you are constantly thought of and loved –
Janet for the gang at SACC
Aunt Louise
So glad that this site is still available. The words expressed here show indeed how much Kerrie meant to so many! She touched so many……. Please know that you are still very much in my prayers and thoughts. God IS with you and loves you deeply!
My love and prayers,