Wednesday, August 22nd

Mom was here for a few days.. unfortunately, Big Bash got rained out Monday night so she didn’t get to see this event and I didn’t have to put her to work in a food stand or doing the prize drawing. We’ve rescheduled for tonight, but Mom can’t be here.

We had a nice visit and, as Mom said in her post in the Gallery, Cristel and I told lots of stories about Blue Lake, WMU and Cedar Point..

We read the posts and wonder WHEN Kerrie will come to us! There was one day that Dad felt sure Kerrie was sitting next to him in his car, but I have yet to feel she is with me. I keep waiting.. I keep asking her where she is.. but she hasn’t come.

I do believe she has sent me a message though.. and it gave me goose bumps. For more than a year I have been in desperate need of going to the dentist. The problem I am having with my tooth keeps getting worse and it’s had me concerned that if I don’t get it checked I’m going to end up with some major infection in the brain or some crazy thing like that ( not so crazy… I know). But, it has not been possible for me to even think about going to my own doctors in the last year… so I keep putting it off. I never really said anything to Mom or Kerrie about this, because I didn’t want them to worry.. and to take time off to go to the dentist would mean I wouldn’t be able to spend that time in Michigan.

Yesterday morning Mom told me she just kept getting this feeling, like a message, that she needed to tell me I needed to see a dentist. She said she felt Kerrie was telling her to tell me to do this.

The hair stood up on my arms when she said this…

Don’t worry Kerrie.. I’m listening.. and I’ll make an appointment this week.

I’ve had messages on my voicemail, from Kerrie, that she left me within the last few months. I’ve been saving them, but haven’t been able to listen to them. Listened to them this morning.. missed her so much that I just kept talking back to her voice on my phone and asking her where she was.. why hadn’t she come to me yet?

Kerrie and I both believe that the people we love stay with us, at least for a while…maybe it’s to make sure we are alright.. or to let us know that they are alright.. but we believe they stay with us until they feel they are no longer needed.

The night my Grandma Painter passed away she came to me in my room. I knew, without a doubt, she was there..I’ve told some people this story and it sometimes freaks them out.. but she made sure I knew she was there. She was with us for a while, she would give us signs that she was there ( some of the absolutely undeniable) and then we knew when she was gone..

I know when my best friend, Stephany, is with me sometimes.. I can hear her talking to me.

The day of my Grandpa Andree’s funeral I knew he was in the car with me as I was leaving the Knights of Columbus Hall…I was sitting in the car, crying, and suddenly the feel of him was so strong and the smell of flowers in my car was so strong I had to open the windows. I said, “Grandpa.. I love you and I’m sorry I didn’t show it more when I had the chance..” I had this feeling of “eveything will be ok” and then the smell of flowers completely dissapeared and I knew he’d gone to someone else.

But where is my sister? Maybe Mom and I should be happy with a message about the dentist? But Kerrie… we are waiting for you!

God I miss her!