Every year I have watched my friends, Jan and Cristel, get involved with Relay for Life and captain thier own teams.

I’ve seen my co-workers ( Marce… especially you) put every ounce of energy into their Relay For Life events.

I’ve read about Pam Munthe’s efforts with the Luekemia and Lymphoma society and the marathon’s she runs ( Pam if I spelled your last name wrong please forgive me).

I’ve donated money to all of these, and more, but never found the time to get too involved in them myself. I was either busy taking care of Kerrie, busy moving to Virginia, busy fighting the U.S. Government to get Fuat here or busy fighting my own battle with cancer… but this year…

This year, I finally did it!! Instead of just getting involved, and forming one Relay For Life team, I am coordinating five teams! It helps when you have the backing of an amusement park( even if not financially ) and have access to thousands of people who may want to help out.

This year, I am heading up KINGS DOMINION CARES! Five Relay for Life Teams at Kings Dominion, all competing against each other to see who can raise the most money. I wanted to make it fun for our employeesm as well as educational,while earning money for the American Cancer Society.

Team Captains set out to get their employees involved, and win the park’s trophy for raising the most amount of money along with getting their team name on a plaque that will hang in the Human Resources office. Our employees are very competitive, so having the trophy in their manager’s office, and their team name on a plaque is always a big inspiration to our employees.

To make it educational, each team picked one or two types of cancer they will represent. Thier themes have been geared around those particular cancers and each team will have educational information, at their team tables, on the night of the event. They chose thier themes because of cancer survivors on their team or because of loved ones they have lost to that particular cancer. The team I am personally heading up will be representing Leukemia and Ovarian cancer… of course

Here’s a look at the KINGS DOMINION CARES TEAMS and the cancers they are representing:

Human Resources, Maintenance, Finance & Marketing Divisions – Leukemia and Ovarian Cancer

Rides, Waterpark and Park Services Divisions – Skin Cancer

Entertainment, Admissions, Security & Safety Divisions – Lung Cancer

Food & Beverage Division – Breast Cancer

Merchandise & Games Divisions – Throat Cancer and Thyroid Cancer

 

We’ve had a lot of fun so far, and held several fundraising events…. and so far, the Merchandise & Games Team is in the lead for the park ( They are number # 2 in fundraising for the county. My team is # 3 for the county)

With 27 days to go until the Relay things are really getting busy! I’ve waited too many years to get involved in this event, so I guess it made sense to me that I should make up for five years of watching others get involved… of course, trying to make up for five years all in ONE year has been a little much, but I am glad I am doing it.

On May 19th, 2012 Mom, Fuat and I will be walking the track. It’s going to be a long night, but I am looking foward to it.

If you would like to see how my team is doing please visit my personal page or my team page:

http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFLFY12SA?px=21014660&pg=personal&fr_id=40902

I have been a cancer survivor for 2 years and 8 days… and I am helping the American Cancer Society to Fight back. I think my beautiful sister would be proud.

I love you Kerrie!

 

 

 

Well, spring has finally arrived, despite the fact that it has been like spring here since February and we have had some snowflakes since the season became official.

It’s been awhile since we have posted and I want to wish all a happy Easter and Passover holiday season (and any other holiday I have missed).

It’s been quiet around here, but I have stayed pretty busy between yard work, some things I do at the Senior Center (i.e., computer classes, etc) and a recent workshop I attended.

I have had to take a few days to settle back from the workshop. It was an all day event and was presented by two well known (by Compassionate Friends Groups) bereaved fathers who travel the country sharing their stories, asking us ours and giving us songs, jokes, laughter, tears and strong words of encouragement. I find after these events , feelings long pushed back come to the surface again. It is a painful time, but also a healing time.

It is coming up to five years since Kerrie passed over to her new life. There are times I still can’t believe she is really gone. Some days I feel such an emptiness and ache with missing her. We talked together all the time. We shared our thoughts and feelings, worries, concerns, joys and happiness. sometimes I feel her sitting across from me and I talk to her now. I like to think the things she says back are not my imagination but are really coming from her.

One thing I brought back from this workshop that I am going to work on is the final message that Alan and Mitch gave us.

” Do not spend time and energy obsessing about  their loss, spend time loving them and honoring and rejoicing their life.”

That is not such as easy thing to do. I am sure that any of you who have lost someone has regrets about something you did or didn’t do. God only knows how many I have about Ker. But my goal is to try and accept those things and put them aside and spend more of my thoughts on the joy she brought when she was here.

It’s time to take some of the things off the refrigerator that I have kept there for 5 years. It’ s time to bring out pictures of her when she was well and put away the ones when she was sick. Jenn and I are finally starting to go through some of her things. At Christmas time Jenn took a big box of games and other items that had been given to Ker and gave them to the Bone Marrow Transplant Unit at Henry Ford Hosp. Jenn doesn’t know it yet, but a couple of days ago I found some more things we need to go thru. They are personal items and I can’t do it alone, so be prepared the next time you come Jenn, more sorting to do.

Little by little it gets better. There is something about losing a child, no matter what age, that puts us parents in a group that is apart from others. I hope that none of you ever has to join this ‘special club’.  It is always with a heartache that we recieve new members at our meetings. My goal is to remember Kerrie, without that heartache, but with joy and love.

Take care all,

Enjoy this season of renewal.

Love you all

Joan

Sometimes Kerrie just walks into the room… I can feel her with me, I know she is here.. and when she is gone I miss her terribly.

Today is one of those days. For a brief moment I felt her with me, like she was standing right next to me, and then she was gone.

I wish she would stay longer. I miss her so much and I wonder if she knows.

Does she know how much I want to hear her voice or hear her laugh just one time?

Does she know how much I wish I could just hug her and tell her I love and miss her?

I hope she does…

Maybe she was just letting me know she was here with me, in Istanbul, before she rushed off to be with mom for her birthday.

I miss you my Ker-Bear. I miss you… give mom a birthday hug for me.

Jenn

Hello Kast Family,

Just got home a little while ago from the cemetary. Went there to think of Ker and wish her a happy birthday. She turns 43 today.

I try to imagine what it would be like if she were here. She’d be done with nursing school by now and probably in a nice apartment or house.  Working at Henry Ford Hospital if she had her way. She really liked everyone there and thought that’s where she like to go after graduation. Or maybe still at one of the Pontiac hospitals in the mother baby unit. She dearly loved the job she had in that dept at NOMC.

As usual, she would have lots of friends and be on the go all of the time. She’d be winning at Bingo and at the Texas Holdem tournaments. And her boyfriend would be really sharp. Probably another nurse or in some branch of the medical field. Maybe they’d be planning to ‘travel nurse’ together. Her hair is long and red of course and she wears clothes 2 sizes smaller than mine and never lets me forget it.

I could go on and on with my vision of what should have been. But, how do i know it doesn’t exist. I believe she is somewhere now living the life she wanted. She’s probably laughing at me and say, “boy will she be surprised when she gets here and sees how close she is”.

I know she is keeping on eye on all of us, I still feel her sometimes or there will be a sign that she’s been around. Not as much as before but every so often.

I hope you all had a great holiday season and that 2012 will be kind to you.

I love you Kerrie and miss you so much. Happy Happy Birthday! !

Mom

And love to all the Kast Family

Joan

Hello KAST Family and Merry Christmas ( or whatever holiday you may be celebrating this week).

This time of year is filled with happiness, but of course there is always some sadness too. It’s our 5th Christmas without Kerrie. Sometimes it’s so hard to believe she’s not here with us. I keep wanting to buy Christmas presents for her and then remember that she won’t be sitting around the tree with us in the morning.

Although I can’t buy her everything I want to, I always get her one gift. The same gift I have given her for more than 30 years… a slinky.

I don’t remember when it started, but one year I gave her a slinky and just kept it up year after year. I still do!

Fuat and I are at mom’s this week and have been happy to be able to spend some time with mom, Ron, Alisa, Robyn and TJ. We couldn’t make it out to Dad’s this year, but hopefully we can do that after the first of the year.

Yesterday, Fuat and I took a little trip to Henry Ford Hospital… and to P2.

Mom, Fuat and I went through some of Kerrie’s things the other night and had two bags full of electronic games, board games, puzzles, movies and books that people had given her while she was in the hospital. We were trying to decide what to do with them, and mom and I both felt very strongly that Kerrie would want us to take them to the Hospital and up the her old floor; P2.

Sometimes she was so bored there, before she had the strokes, and we would sit and play games for hours. I am sure she would be happy knowing that all those things that kept her occupied were going to be of use to someone else there. When we arrived, we went to the nurses station and told them why we were there. They remember Kerrie, and Mom, and were so happy that we would bring the donation to them. I was happy that I was able to show Fuat the place where “lived” for a whole year… and show him the place where we said goodbye to Kerrie, but it hurt to stand in those halls. The only thing that kept me from crying was knowing Kerrie would be happy with what we did.

Today Mom ,Fuat and I went to the cemetery to wish Kerrie, Grandma and Grandpa a Merry Christmas…. and I gave Kerrie her slinky. It looked so pretty, wrapped in the paper and sitting on her headstone wreath. I couldn’t help thinking I wish she could see it… but I am sure she did and I am sure she was laughing at the thought that I still bring her our favorite toy.

Whatever you and your families are doing this Christmas, we hope you have a wonderful holiday and the new year brings you many happy days.

We may not be here as often as we used to but we always think about our KAST Family and you are in our hearts.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Jenn

Hello All !
We’re back and we did it! Riding an elephant is nothing. Not even when the mahout jumps off and walks ahead so he can use your camera and take pictures (and he doesn’t get back on). Not even when you swing back and forth and roll around the elephants back as the huge shoulder bones go up and down and you feel like your going to fall off for sure, and your palms are grabbing the lap bar so hard and sweating so much you can hardly hang on and roller coasters are beginning to look really really good. Piece of cake, nothing to it………. Next time I go I’m taking my bathing suit so I can get in the water and give the dusty little (huge) thing a bath. It was part of the package but we declined this time.

I have found a new favorite country. Thailand is beautiful, friendly, hot and very economical. The standard of living is so low we could go and live very well on our social security alone. Anyone interested???? Many retirees are there, especially from the European countries and you hear a lot of Australian accents as well. If you haven’t ever thought about going there, time to put it on your list.

I have about 400-500 more pictures I need to download. I’ll send you all copies when I am done ( just kidding). I’ll just talk your ear off about the trip when I see you.

Take care all and if I don’t see you or talk to you before…………HAVE A GREAT HOLIDAY ! ! !

Joan

As the song says… one night in Bangkok and the world’s your oyster. Well.. two nights and you still have jetlag

Hello from Bangkok KAST Family! Life has been so busy lately that Mom and I had to come all the way to Bangkok to find time post a note on here

We are here on a business trip, but going to make it a vacation while we are here. Hoping to ride an elephant, go to the grand palace and dance like Anna and the King of Siam and take a walk on the bridge over the river Kwai ( Well.. at the least the one that was rebuilt after it was blown up).

Although it’s been a while since we’ve been able to get on here, we think about everyone all time.

For those of you who haven’t already heard, our own KAST family member Pam Munthe, recently ran in the NYC Marathon. WOW Pam! I am so impressed…

My sweet Fuat and I have been busy with work and Mom has been busy… retiring!

We hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving and we’ll be in touch soon! I will try to get on here more often …especially since mom is always asking me when I am going to post again

To my askim… we’ll be home soon honey. Don’t have too many parties while I am gone. I love you

Love to you all,

Jenn and Joan

It’s been a long summer and, unfortunately, not much time to be able to get on here and post anything.

Fuat’s 13 year old sister, Menekse, was with us for the summer and he has just taken her home yesterday ( honey please hurry home… I miss you!) . We had a great summer, and we were able to take her to a lot of great places including:

Michigan for the Annual Whitney Family Strawberry Party
Washington DC for July 4th fireworks ( very cool by the way)
Virginia Beach
Cedar Point
Atlantic City
Niagara Falls
New York City

I really have to give credit to all of you that have managed to have a job AND kids. I can’t imagine trying to have a job and taking care of babies or really young children. Having her here gave me just a small taste of what it must have been like for my mom. Mom.. you are AWESOME

It also opened my eyes a little more to things we all take for granted..like going bowling, playing putt-putt golf, going to McDonals at least once a week or going to the movies. These were all “firsts” for her…

Yes, of course they have  McDonald’s, bowling alleys, putt-putt golf and movie theaters in Turkey   (I know at least one of you is thinking this question…

These are just things that we consider part of a normal childhood, and take for granted, but it isn’t a normal, “every day” occurance everywhere else…I am really glad that we got to share them with her. She just couldn’t get enough of her favorite cheeseburger! Thank goodness she doesn’t go to McDonald’s every week at home. If she did, she’d start looking like an American ( and if I need to explain that.. then you don’t want to hear the explanation )

So much of mine and Kerrie’s childhood revolved around these kind of things.. and almost all of them with Pam and Cathy Rosenburg.

Pam, maybe you were too young to remember, but the four of us used to walk down the street to a little putt-putt golf place on Commerce Road. We’d go there at least 3 or 4 times a summer… bowling… I already wrote about that, but Kerrie loved bowling and we would go to the bowling alley over by the Commerce Drive-in.

And movies.. I fondly remember the first time the four of us went to see Star Wars. We went to the Milford Cinema. Back in those days you could take in your own food, so we had a huge paper grocery bag full of popcorn, a bag of candy and some cokes…and they didn’t have “occupancy” limits in those days… the theater was sold out. People sitting on the floor in the aisle and the four of us sat on the ledge on the right side of the cinema, because theire were no seats left.

We went to see a couple of movies together at the Commerce Drive-in. I think one of them was Herbie the Love Bug ( though my memory is getting a little bad about that, so can’t be sure) and I think we saw another Disney movie there too. I can’t recall the movie, but I do remember the four of us leaving the car and going to the snack bar. I wish we had taken the time to find a drive-in somewhere in Virginia and taken Menekse to one.

Mom and Dad took us on a couple of trips to Cedar Point, and I know Pam and Cathy went with us one one trip…but the one that I remember the most was the trip the four of us took alone. We asked if we could go and our parents said yes.. and none of us could believe it. We left early in the morning and we were driving my dad’s old, blue Delta 88. Mom had made all of us some tuna fish sandwiches for lunch and we were eating them while we were driving down the Ohio Turnpike. I was driving…. Cathy was sitting next to me and Pam and Kerrie were in the back seat. One of use, either Cathy or me.. I can’t remember which one of us did this, decided to throw the rest of our sandwich out the window and it landed on the windshield of a Semi-truck. We were laughing so hard we were crying… I don’t remember much else about that day, but I rememer that flying tuna fish sandwich. Pam, do you remember that?

Every time we took Menekse to do one of these things I would have a memory of doing them with Kerrie, Pam and Cathy. What would our childhood have been like without those two?!?! I can’t even imagine, so I really need to thank my mom and dad for picking that house on Red Arrow! Having neighbors and friends like that is somethign we took for granted too…

Although we had a great summer, there were some things that were not so great.. I had surgery to remove cysts on my left wrist, the day after Menekse arrived. At least that gave Menekse a chance to experience an American Hospital… and gave me 10 days off to spend with her while she was first here.  The plan is to remove the cysts on the right wrist some time in November.. and then…Mom had surgery in August. She keeps calling it a small procedure.. but it wasn’t… the good news is that there was no cancer.

Ok enough of the bad stuff…

Having Menekse here gave me a chance to do things with my “sister” that I never really go to do with Kerrie. Like go shopping and be silly in the perfume section of Nordrstroms. Watching the saleswoman, as Menekse put on 100 differnet kinds of perfume was hilarious..I wish Kerrie and I had done more things like that. Kerrie and I had one great shopping day together that will remain in my mind forever…May 5th, 2006.. two months before she was diagnosed.  She had just had her bariatric surgery and we went shopping for jeans..she picked up a pair of jeans I just knew were going to be too small for her and told her not to be too disappointed if they didn’t fit yet…. and when she came out of the dressing room in the size 18 jeans, with the big smile on her face, I burst into tears…that was a great day! The perfume shopping trip with Menekse will always stay in my mind like that too.

I can’t share these things with Kerrie anymore, and I took them for granted when I had the chance… but now I have four new “sisters” to share these things with and, although they can never fill the void that is in my heart every single day… they can help me to feel like I have a sister. I will do my best to never take my time with them for granted.

The pain never goes away my Ker-Bear. I never stop missing you, I never stop wishing I had said more, done more while I still had the chance.   People say it gets easier with time, but to me it just seems to get harder.

There is never a day I don’t think about you. There is almost never a day I don’t shed a tear… I miss you so much my sweet sister.

Today… the day you left us… 

Today I will miss you more than most days…

Today I will cry more than most days…

Today my heart will break more than most days…

I love you Kerrie.. and I will never forget.. and I will never let the world forget you!

Today, I do what I can only bring myself to do once or twice a year ( today and your birthday)… and today I will watch you video… I hope others will click on this link and watch with me:  http://youtu.be/8gldp96796o

We went bowling the other night. Me, Fuat, his sister Menekse, our friends Nate and Gizem… and Kerrie.

I was standing on the lane, picking up my bowling ball (with the hand that hasn’t had surgery yet) and I heard Kerrie’s voice saying “Let’s go bowling”

 We were in elementary school, I think Kerrie was maybe in the 1st or 2nd grade, and we were driving by the Union Lake Bowling Alley and Kerrie was pleading with Mom and Dad, “Let’s go bowling”.

Kerrie was on a kids bowling league, and was pretty good, I tried it a few times and WOW was I bad. The first time I bowled I was lucky to hit 13 points. Kerrie was my bowling champion, but she drove me crazy with always wanting to go bowling.

I think we were camping in Alpena, or maybe we were up in Marquette that time, and it was raining. We were driving through a small town, on the way to see the basketball movie “One on One” with Robbie Benson. I remember the small town, I remember the brick buildings and driving by the bowling alley.. “Let’s go bowling!”  Uggh.. Kerrie.. just stop with the bowling. I am sure that was what was in my head.

We were bored, it was summer.. I wanted to go swimming. “Let’s go bowling”. We were in High School, it was the weekend, I wanted to go out dancing with my friends.. “Let’s go bowling.”  We were working at a music camp in Muskegoen.. it was our ONE night off from being camp counselors and we were allowed to leave the camp for a few hours…. Yes… She said it every time.. “Let’s go bowling!”  We worked at Cedar Point, and it was our day off… “Let’s go bowling!”

She alwasy wanted to go bowling.. always.

She came to visit me, in Ohio, on May 5th, 2006. This was only two months before she was diagnosed… and yes, she wanted to go bowling. We went to a bowling alley, but I wouldn’t bowl. We sat in the bar and sang Karaoke instead.

I think I can only remember bowling with my beautiful sister two or three times ever and I think we were really young. I wish we had gone more. I am a horrible bowler, but find it fun sometimes.. and I am sure I would have had a lot of fun bowling with Kerrie.

 So, as I stood there staring at the bowling ball in my hand, hearing Kerrie’s voice saying “let’s go bowling” I was fighting back the tears that are always there.. just on the verge of coming out. I looked at the ball and said, “Yes Kerrie… let’s go bowling.” 

I got a strike.